Water....

A long time ago,

a friend of mine wrote a paper on how water was the 

center of her life. 

Ever since she was little it had played an important role in just about

everything she did. 

At the time, I thought it was very clever

but never really thought about what it meant.

A few years later....

Here i am, 26 (lol, oldddddd...)

in the Navy

with my life revolving around water. 

It made me remember my friends paper. 

Ever since ive been a small child ive been near water. 

Growing up on the beach, going out on the boat almost every weekend

and the occasional "Crab Island" trips were a mainstay in my summers.

Then I became a sushi chef as i got older. 

Obviously, that has a little something to do with water.

Not to mention the fact that the restaurant i worked at was on the Destin Harbor. 

Water always calms me.

I could sit on the docks and just stare out into the world,

letting whatever problems i had drift away into the eternal sunset. 

I had spots on the beach that I claimed as my own and would bring people there.

Now in my Navy days

I feel the same calming/controling powers of Water. 

Over deployment i could sit on the O2 level and stare into the endless sea

Hoping for a glimpse into the direction i was looking for. 

I remember a particular time when we were south of okinawa...

I went outside in the morning to do chaff tempts like i usually did

when i caught noticed the sun pouring itself through the clouds overhead.

The waves seemed almost to crash into the bottom of these clouds.

It really made me appreciate the life id been given and gave me a new found respect for God and all that he has created. 

It was a beautiful sight, theres no way i can accurately describe it. 

Though i did have it tattoo'd on my arm so that ill never forget that moment.

Anyways, it was another small example of how Water has effected my life

I figured id share with yall since i havent wrote anything in a while and feel the need to voice my thoughts and feelings sometimes. 

So, everyone be safe and God bless

There is no place id rather be.

We promised you a big main event.....


Someone the other day said that the US military were terrorist, not Al Qaeda. (I paraphrase because he said "the muslims" and his paragraph was riddled with misspelling.) This set me off. For someone who's never left our home town, isnt doing anything with his life and constantly craving attention, he really has some balls. I dont agree with alot of things the government does, and by alot i mean like 75%. We get in peoples business all the time. But despite all of that, there is no justification in calling a group of men and women who volunteer to put there lives on the line terrorists. What have you ever done? You can claim to donate to charities and adopt families, hell you can claim to do alot. Donating to charities doesnt include giving free coke to all the half ass bads that roll through the area just to feel like you have some semblance of friends.

Phew....off my high horse.

Work has been insanity lately. Threat Rec, C4I and random work related things. Im actually enjoying being there though. Its been a while since thats happen. Ive really got to hit the books and win my advancement exam. Id enjoy being 3rd class, despite having to get all my uniforms sewn. #1rstworldproblems

Anywho, Sorry to those ive neglected to call or text the past few weeks. Its been hectic, im still alive, and when i get free time ill hit you up. Love you all, Stay black

Generic blog title

Attempt 2 at this.....
and to jump right into it...
Someone last night said i was a smooth talker and a man whore.
Man whore? definitely not
Smooth talker? okay, guilty.
But it really got me wondering about how some women really see me.
On occasion i can be good with words. For the most part i dont really let many women see that side of me. Aside from my usual poor choice in women, i also really have a problem letting women in. One to many bad experiences has soured the whole thing for me. Atleast in the short term. Im just lost in a sea of work and the future. I feel like a little ship, in a giant ocean. Either waiting for the harbor to appear or to be swallowed up by a huge wave. The relationships i build along become life preservers. Sometimes they fall off the ship but the best ones have been on the side of my little ship forever. (sorry for the ship reference)
Next, if my neck doesnt quit hurting i might have to kill a bitch or two. Its making me irritated on a regular basis and i dont approve.
Ive got much more on my mind but i cant really write more about it right now.

Coming to water, stuck still, no turning back...

I love having those days when you really feel like youve done something. 

Today I : 

Went to the store,

got stuff to clean with,

groceries,

a game or two,

watched a replay of the AC Milan game

and wrote this. 

Compared to Saturday, Sunday has been a big change of pace. I usually waste away my weekends in hopes that i can regain some sanity lost during the week. This weekend accomplished that. Assuming we get a weekend off this coming weekend, ill probably try and do something similar. 

A friend of mine asked me a long time ago if id ever want to start my own sushi place. 

99% of the time i would say no.

Well, thinking it over today,

It might be in my future. 

Id always told myself that i could work for Yoshie forever and be completely contempt with it. 

But, like all good things, i know that wont last. Yo wont live forever. (as much as i hate to admit it)

And I wont want to work for harbor docks all of my life. I wouldnt do it alone obviously, but its not out of the realm of possibility. Ive been sketching up some looks i want the restaurant to have and trying to come up with a name. That would be a good goal to keep me motivated in my daily journey towards the promise land.

I have this picture of my family right behind my computer, its always been a nice reminder of home. Because i definitely miss it as much as it misses me. 

Writing this blog has made me realize how much i really love to write. Mostly about myself mind you, but i love the fact that i can share my thoughts and or feelings about whatever subject without having to be in front of each and everyone of you. Dont get me wrong, id love to talk to everyone individually, but for my friends in Cali, Florida, Ohio, Michigan, New York, Alaska, Washington St and DC, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas and pretty much all the other states, along with Europe, Asia and the Middle East, This makes it much much easier. 

Plus, i live a pretty interesting life. Full of twists, turns and speed bumps. And i wouldnt have it any other way. 

Also, incase your reading this, I will call you tomorrow Melissa, time got away from me today. Im not avoiding you, i promise. 

I'll keep from getting all preachy. Today isnt the day for that. Everyone have a great week and stay tuned. Theres much more to come... 

Drop the The....

This entire blog will be in italics. 
     Dont ask why, just accept it




Anyways, its been a long few weeks. The holidays have come and gone, and im pretty sure im returning to sanity. My trip home was definitely a well deserved one. And being home yielded more of a return than expected. I got to see my best friend, met many great people and spent more time with my wonderful family. I also damaged a few friendships, froze my ass off and did many stupid things, but that was to be expected. It also helped me focus on my short/long term goals in life. I'm still back on track to go to culinary school and i feel like i have that drive to do great things again. For the longest time my drive for success was fueled as revenge against an ex girlfriend who didnt think i was worth anything. Like Sean Parker or Mark Zuckerburg, their success came from this. I felt like it would pull me through the tough times, but i came to an impass. What happens when i get there? When i do make it? Its consumed alot of my thoughts the past few weeks. 
But alas....there is hope. 


Ive decided (one of the many decisions ive made while writing these things) that revenge on "she who has no name" wouldnt be worth it. What will it do? Just make me a shallow individual. And thats not me. 
I do want greatness though...
And I will have it...(see how i capitalized the "I", fucking business time)

And here...we....go...

"What the hell is going on?...."


                 Thats about the best way I can describe how im feeling right now. Just lost, plain and simple. Its not plain, or simple for that matter, but thats what it is. A sweeping feeling of being lost. But outside of the scope of my work life. I think its just that time of year. Im always stressed around Christmas time. This year is no exception. Going into debt is not my ideal christmas situation. Im back in the green again (so to speak) but its hard for me not to spend my money anyways. I felt like i was being dragged through the mud by life. Ive experienced that feeling a few times in my life and I can say its not the most pleasant feeling in the world. Speaking of that, i decided to text one of my exs today just to see how things were/what she was doing for the holidays. Bad idea, i was brought back to that not so pleasant time of my life. I dont really talk much about it because i try to forget it sometimes. Id been beaten and degraded out in BR and worked my ass off to never have it happen again. Enough of that rant though. Ive learned my lesson (no, i didnt) and ill steer clear of that. a week from today i go home. I have so many people to see and not enough time im afraid. Its a shame but i know who i "need" to see.
Its a Radiohead day. im enjoying this

She's got nasty blisters from the money she spends...

Im picky.....
with just about everything. Mainly dating though. My choice of woman is one in a million. Smart, but not too smart. Funny, but in a corny sort of way. Beautiful, but humble. Take cares of herself, but still likes a cheeseburger or two. Someone who is aware of the world around her and the world in which she lives. Someone who is always wanting to learn and not willing to accept the norm. And id like her for Christmas....thank you.....


Anyways, like usual, ive been back and forth about writing as of late. I have alot to say, but sometimes i feel overwhelmed by the possibility of bringing up these thoughts and feelings and sharing them with the world. Id planned on deleting my Facebook and any other social media medium i had in an attempt to "be one with myself". Cause after all, how can you express your feelings if youre not completely comfortable with them? AMIRITE???(lol, internet jokes)
But then i thought......those pure, raw emotions can make the most interesting stories, and hopefully provide some entertainment for you.
For instance, my grandfather passing away.
Naturally i was sad, i even cried. But it felt like something larger than the death of a family member. It was a reminder that, "hey, youre alive dude." Not in a "oh im alive, hes not." sort of thing. Ive felt so disconnected from reality that i wasnt really feeling anything. And that day, I came back. despite it being a horrible feeling, i felt something. Things are slowly coming into perspective. And that is the most rewarding feeling ive had in a while.
So, im curious how everyone else is doing? let me know here or on Facebook. lets communicate