One thing I have never been good at is forgiveness. If I feel ive been wronged then it sticks with me for a really long time. Even after whatever it was ceases to bother me. I dont know why im like it. But I am. I still harbor a major grudge against a few people, years since out fallout may have taken place. I hate the fact that I do it but I really cant help it. Mainly I hold these grudges against women and I guess its because I dont want to feel that disappointment from them again. This is one of the only weaknesses that im willing to share with you all. Sometimes I feel like I have the metallic outer shell that filters out most bullshit the world throws out my way. On very rare instances, like once in a blue moon, I open up and allow myself to feel some kind of way about someone or something. Sometimes it doesnt work out. I understand this is how life is supposed to work, but in case you all havent noticed, im pretty much immune to all of that. (im not serious, calm down)  I just dont respond well to things sometimes so I just let it go. And I hate it. I push good people away. But thats life though I suppose.

Now on to something a little less touchy, feely. Ive been sleeping all the way through the night for the past week or so. Ive also been super tired during the day but thats expected. Anyways, in this sleepy time ive been dreaming like crazy. The I had an epiphany. I know how to market myself. Im still in the planning stages, but basically its going to be a mix of all of my favorite chefs (Marco Pierre White, Anthony Bourdain, Masaharu Morimoto, and so on.) with the charm and good looks of Leonardo DeCaprio, George Clooney, Mr Rogers, and Matthew David McConaughey. (thats right, I used his middle name. What of it?) A fearless leader of the land that is my kitchen. There are some finite details I need to develop within myself but im pretty much there. A General Douglas McAurthur of the culinary battlefield. Pretty wild huh? I just want to be larger than life to make up for the small problem of in fact not being large at all. Little details though huh?

Anyways, tomorrow brings more writing on hopefully a happier note. And being that tomorrow is Ric Flair Friday, ill most likely be delivering a handful of body chops to almost everyone I see. Good luck.

-SB