Thursday, February 13, 2014

Take you best shot, give it all you got...

To say that im not just a little frustrated...well thats just silly. I have the very unfortunate position of trying to convey whatever it is that is actually bothering me, or to let it go and just move on to greener pastures. Sad thing is, I really dont know. I havent been this annoyed since the whole Fedora fiasco. Speaking of that, ive since forgiven her and really moved past is, but I have too much pride to go up and tell her that. Its far easier for me to just walk away from her anytime our paths cross, than to be like "yeah, im not mad at you anymore." It leads me to my first point....

1.) Most of the time, I really just don't care. Normally, Im a very engaging, friendly person. I hate being the center of attention, but sometimes I am just drawn to it. For each person, I try to make some sort of special moment, so that we'll always have something to relate to further on down the line. Each person feels special and I add another person to an impressive resume of friends. If I lose one or two along the way do I really care? Yes. Will I do anything to stop it? Not a chance. Pride dictates that I give as little of a shit as possible, even though my brain piece and that pumpy thing in my chest say otherwise. I think there are maybe two people in the entire world that know what im really like. One lives in New York and the other lives here. Both I neglect a completely regrettable amount. Actually, I have one more, but he lives with me and that doesnt count. Guess who it is???

2.) Sometimes I try too hard to impress people. Everyone hears my tales of sushi slinging in the Wild West that was Harbor Docks. Or endless tales of Japan. Or the misadventures I had in Baton Rouge. I like to tell stories. At first it was because they asked. Now, as an almost unstoppable habit, I tell some sort of story. Luckily my life is interesting enough for people to really get into them and in turn makes me want to tell them more. The Aries in me wants to walk into a room and have people go "Oh, thats the guy who was in the Navy" or "Hey, isnt that Sean Burch? I heard he was a sushi chef at some point." My own cult of personality. Minus the oppression that usually comes with. Back home, one pretty much exists for me already. (thanks Melissa) Like some sort of mythical creature, I always seem to run into someone that has heard of me, or met me at some point. And to be perfectly honest with you, it excites me. I love every second of it.

Ive rambled enough today. And I know that eventually ill have to reign this beast in and actually start writting about things that remotely matter, but in the mean time I have to use this as an outlet to get some of my stored up aggression out. Writing can be deadly when put into dangerous hand. Dont forget that, because I sure wont.

-SB

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